Sorry it took me so long to get this one up. These Millenios were all kinds of exciting back when I was eleven, but you know how it goes. I was putting off hunting and pecking a review on the family Gateway
mainframe desktop just long enough to find my extra N64 controller for that night’s sleepover. Before I knew it, my friend’s mom was out front ready to provide the mini-van shuttle to blockbuster and the skating rink. I think at some point I got tied up with real work…like a book report or something, and the next thing I knew 12+ years had passed and I had forgotten all about this cereal. That was until Marvo asked me if I wanted to participate in Retro Cereal Week. Perfect.So I pulled these back out from the pantry, and by that I mean I found them on Ebay for much more than the $2.50 sticker. I forget how much I paid exactly, but it was worth it. Not so much for the stale ass-cereal, but for the memories (or lack thereof) prompted by the Millenios Moments.
What I wrote above is a lie. I was at a family friend’s NYE Y2k be-damned party, witnessing my 13 year old sister’s first encounter with too much champagne. She’s the one with no recollection of the experience.
As for the moments…well the Redsox won, and if we replace “everyone” with “really aggressive douchers at Whole Foods” then the electric car thing may have came true as well. But let’s move on to truly groundbreaking moment – like me trying 12 year old cereal.
My buddy Food Junk would say these had an off-putting nosegrope, I’ll take it a step further with a nostrault of brown sugar & weirdness. Things didn’t improve when I actually put them in my mouth. The brown sugar oat & corn glaze had worn down to an almost spongy texture - we’ll call it old air sogginess.
As for taste, I think these were probably had a pretty good flavor in their prime. A sweeter brown sugar multigrain variety, but they had since lost some of their sweetness and gained a lot of that stale-sourness that stuck around past a tooth brushing.
I hope nobody is upset that I passed on making some caustic insta-mush by adding milk. Actually, I don’t really care. I wasn’t planning to grade these on taste alone, I could barely make out the better if used by date, and I think they were probably pretty good if I had tried them in that time-frame. The offputting after-taste was more than worth the memories gained from the box….yes, I still have it.
Would I recommend eating a box of Millenios? Not for taste or sustenance.
Would I recomend buying a box of Millenios? Absolutely.
Grade: A Comments on 1999-Y2K nostalgia highly encouraged.