Millenios Millennium Cheerios

by Rodzilla on September 18, 2012 · 8 comments

Millenios BoxSorry it took me so long to get this one up. These Millenios were all kinds of exciting back when I was eleven, but you know how it goes. I was putting off hunting and pecking a review on the family Gateway mainframe desktop just long enough to find my extra N64 controller for that night’s sleepover. Before I knew it, my friend’s mom was out front ready to provide the mini-van shuttle to blockbuster and the skating rink. I think at some point I got tied up with real work…like a book report or something, and the next thing I knew 12+ years had passed and I had forgotten all about this cereal. That was until Marvo asked me if I wanted to participate in Retro Cereal Week. Perfect.Millenios Time CapsuleSo I pulled these back out from the pantry, and by that I mean I found them on Ebay for much more than the $2.50 sticker. I forget how much I paid exactly, but it was worth it. Not so much for the stale ass-cereal, but for the memories (or lack thereof) prompted by the Millenios Moments.

Millenios MemoryWhat I wrote above is a lie. I was at a family friend’s NYE Y2k be-damned party, witnessing my 13 year old sister’s first encounter with too much champagne. She’s the one with no recollection of the experience.

Millenios GuessesAs for the moments…well the Redsox won, and if we replace “everyone” with “really aggressive douchers at Whole Foods” then the electric car thing may have came true as well. But let’s move on to truly groundbreaking moment – like me trying 12 year old cereal.

Millenios ContentsMy buddy Food Junk would say these had an off-putting nosegrope, I’ll take it a step further with a nostrault of brown sugar & weirdness. Things didn’t improve when I  actually put them in my mouth. The brown sugar oat & corn glaze had worn down to an almost spongy texture  - we’ll call it old air sogginess.
As for taste, I think these were probably had a pretty good flavor in their prime. A sweeter brown sugar multigrain variety, but they had since lost some of their sweetness and gained a lot of that stale-sourness that stuck around past a tooth brushing.

Best if used byI hope nobody is upset that I passed on making some caustic insta-mush by adding milk. Actually, I don’t really care. I wasn’t planning to grade these on taste alone, I could barely make out the better if used by date, and I think they were probably pretty good if I had tried them in that time-frame. The offputting after-taste was more than worth the memories gained from the box….yes, I still have it.

Would I recommend eating a box of Millenios? Not for taste or sustenance.
Would I recomend buying a box of Millenios? Absolutely.

Grade: Comments on 1999-Y2K nostalgia highly encouraged.

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Mary

I don’t recall where I was on that day… I was in college though, so, your guess is as good as mine. I didn’t grocery shop very much around that time so I totally missed out on these, but I like those fill-in-the-blank guesses. You’re brave for eating this stuff.

2 Steve

I was standing around the St. Pete Pier with everyone else in town wearing a freshly ironed Swingers-esque shirt complete with martini glass buttons. Skinny chain to wallet? Check.

Excellent review. Kudos for holding back on any Willennium jokes. And “nostrault.” Awesome.

3 Bianca

I remember my grandmother, who lives down the street, was insisting that we save our urine in tupperware to prepare for Y2K. What aspect of Y2K that would have prepared us for remains to be seen.

4 Carly

This was my senior year of high school, and I can’t remember what we did. For a second, while trying to remember, I actually moved to open a new tab and google it.

I thought I could google what I did on New Year’s 12 years ago.

So, yeah, I have no idea. If only I had thought to write it down on a box of cereal.

5 Rodzilla

Mary – thank you, though if you thought I was brave you should check what Steve ate!

Steve – chained wallets the unCOOLEST things ever…and don’t give me too much credit, I would have used a hell of a lot more Willenium if I were clever enough.

Bianca – let’s give her the benefit of the doubt and guess that she did it to be hilarious. I mean, a urine stockpile is pretty funny.

Carly – don’t be embarrassed. I tried to google myself a sandwich the other day…in time we’ll be able to do everything.

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