Meet team S-Car-Go, you might not recognize them without their
shells helmets, but they are the world’s first and only snail cycling team. As the self-appointed directeur sportiff, I can tell you they’ve got quite a bit of work to do before they’ll be prepared for any major courses, cycling or culinary.
I’m willing to bet that most people who claim to love escargot really just love the preparation. Most things taste good with butter and garlic. I wanted to know about the actual snails. As suspected, there’s definitely a reason for the typical accouterments. Unadorned, both the taste and texture reminded me a lot of low-sodium canned button mushrooms, which is to say..not that great.
They have a slightly meatier texture and earthier flavor, but they could easily be mistaken for some canned toadstools, they even sort of look like them. You may have expected me to mention a salty or briny flavor, but escargot are land snails, and again, these were packed in water.
If I can find one positive aspect its that they are a good source of protein. It’s just too bad that they’re not a good tasting one as well. I finished them, but only after mixing into a dish of spaghetti with olive oil, spices, and anchovies. I still wasn’t crazy about them.
I would consider most escargot served as hors-d’oeuvres to be like doped-up tour champions, and my water-packed gang more like a team of guys on trikes. I don’t think I need to explain that any further, and I’m resigning as directeur sportiff.