With October coming to a close, I thought this would be an appropriate time to remind everyone to be safe this Halloween season. There are a few well known dangers associated with trick-or-treating that every kid should know:
- Stay away from the houses known for giving “healthy” treats
- Decline invitations to enter unknown households
- Throw out any candy that appears to have been tampered with
- Do not approach anyone offering candy from a van
but here’s a new one, and it’s probably the most important rule for any young one to follow: If you happen to find Sugar-Free Peeps Pumpkins in your bag – avoid at all costs
Sure, they look innocent enough. They don’t even taste too bad. These peeps still manage a sweet
sugary crust, and the sugar alcohol tinge is surprisingly mild. At first, these seem to have all the makings of a great diabetic alternative to a classic candy…until you it’s time to digest them.
Don’t let these pumpkins fool you, their smiles are faker than their sugar. These Peeps don’t care if you had plans outside of visiting the restroom, or if you’re wearing your favorite pair of pants. If you want to dabble with these peeps, I hope you have a high pain tolerance, a great supply of bathroom readers, and/or a colostomy bag.
Make no mistake about it kids, if someone gives you a sugar free peep they are trying to hurt you. I may keep a few for the little bastards who think I won’t recognize them on their 5th trip to my porch, or the groups of kids who are driven to different neighborhoods (that’s cheating you lazy-asses, earn your damn candy).
…and facing expulsion