Let me start by saying I love getting comments. It’s nice to know that some people are actually reading this stuff, or at least looking at my pictures when they’re bored. I’m happy to get anyone’s opinion regardless of whether or not they agree with my review, opinion, etc. However, recently my grading criteria was questioned, almost criticized – I don’t like that so much. There is a reason it’s called Rodzilla Reviews, shit-head. Opinions will differ, but I like to think I’m fairly consistent and have a pretty decent formula. So I decided to humor the ass-hat who got me so worked up by explaining my grading technique with this Laloo’s Goats Milk Ice Cream.
I have a few main grading criteria. The first, and most important is taste which is then broken down for more detailed analysis depending on the product.
The first thing I noticed about this Vanilla Snowflake was that the madagascar vanilla flavor was much richer than most vanillas I’ve had. More like a vanilla bean than the standard generic vanilla. There is a definite goats milk tang on the finish, but it’s gentle and not at all unpleasant. The texture was lighter than that of premium ice creams but managed to be nearly as creamy, not the typical lower-fat gummy fluff.
A second factor is price. I paid $7 at whole foods for a pint of this ice cream. Pretty steep, but I knew I liked goats milk, and I’ve had success with this brand in the past. Does the taste justify the price? We’ll get to that in a bit.
I may acknowledge packaging, but it usually will not have much influence on the grade. For instance, if I’m eating something as unique as goats milk ice cream, I would like an emphasis on the goat. The snowflakes are nice, but goats would be better. At least give me an equal amount of goats to snowflakes, or a goatflake design.
Ingredients are another important factor. Aside from the obvious influence on taste, I believe that companies deserve recognition for using quality and/or wholesome ingredients. Of course, the use of such ingredients is only worthwhile if the influence on taste is positive. I wouldn’t care if they used the rarest Argentata of Etna Goats, had the milk tasted like it came from ass rather than udder it wouldn’t score well.
I use all of the aforementioned criteria to determine value. It only makes sense to assess value by comparing said product against comparable offerings. I would encourage anyone curious about goats milk to try this ice cream, but I don’t see it becoming a repeat purchase for myself. I liked it quite a bit, but not enough to regularly pay the equivalent of two pints of Ben & Jerry’s.
So I hope this has been enlightening. I won’t claim to have some flawless scale because no review site does. These aren’t grading scales for advanced statistical analysis, they’re my own opinions. If you have a different one I would love to hear it, just don’t be a dick about it – that’s my job.
Grade: 17** because I can.
…Really it’s like a B